Whether the result of an iron constitution, a testament to the preservative qualities of recreational herbs or an act of sheer spite towards an industry that never found succor in his vision, we here at If Charlie Parker Was a Gunslinger . . . are pleased to be able to wish Robert Altman, the director of Nightmare in Chicago, Quintet and O.C. & Stiggs, all our best as he celebrates this, his 81st birthday.